Everything in life is a negotiation.
Chris Voss
Arrive at a win-win scenario.
In a bad scenario, you might get a “yes” but risk the other person causing a lot of trouble during implementation. Yes is nothing without a how.
Mirroring
When someone sees themselves reflected in another person’s eyes or actions, it immediately builds rapport, trust, and connection.
To be interesting, you need to be interested.
Labelling
Give the counterpart a chance to reflect and better explain their perspective. (ie “It seems like you think I’m being unfair”, or “It sounds like you really understand this business”. )
Don’t just say “No”.
“How am I suppose to do that?” presents the problem back onto the person who posed it. Encourage a collaboration to solve the problem.
“Fair” is a sign of vulnerability.
Use the opportunity to dive deeper, not double down.
EQ > IQ
Empathy is your superpower.
Watch your expression and tone.
- smiling, commentators voice is seen as straight-forward. “yeah~ I know it sounds crazy~ but I wanna work with you.”
- assertive types see themselves as honest and direct. But it comes out as anger, which is never good in the long run.
- downward, slow, analyst voice, is the cold, hard truth. Use it sparingly, when there is no where else to go. It kills the conversation.
- late-night DJ voice, is used for calming.
- inquisitive voice. You’ll be surprised at what you can get away with saying using this voice.
You may have many ways to lie; you only have one way to tell the truth.
Give the Illusion of Control
People love being asked how to do things. “What” gives the illusion of control. “Why” makes people defensive.